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On The Table Read Magazine, “the best book magazine in the UK“, author and relationship coach Treva Brandon Scharf talks about the work that went into her new book, Done Being Single.
Written by JJ Barnes
I interviewed Treva Brandon Scharf about her life and career, what inspired her to write her new book, Done Being Single, and her creative process.
I’m Treva Brandon Scharf, ICF-certified life/dating/relationship coach, fitness professional, midlife marriage first-timer, and new author.
After many years of writing my blog, an editor friend of mine told me I had a book in me. She was right. There was more to say and reveal, and more ways I knew I could help people through writing a book.
I already had the beginnings of a book because I had written so many blog posts about being single, dating, and finding love later in life. But instead of recycling or repurposing previously published material, I decided to use the blogs as a framework to create new content. The topics and subjects were already there, but the untold stories weren’t. And that’s where I went with the book. I wanted it to be a behind-the-scenes look at my life, and the events that inspired my blog. The book has given me an opportunity to provide more context and depth, as well as to be more vulnerable in the process.
About two years. I thought I had finished a first draft in November 2019, but then shortly after completing it, both parents got sick and died, the pandemic hit, my father-in-law passed away, and I couldn’t end the book without including all these life events, so I went back in and added two more chapters. In September of 2022, I found a self-publishing company and submitted my manuscript.
I had more to say and reveal about my life, and more advice and wisdom to share. I think writing a book was the natural next progression for me.
The biggest challenge was opening myself up and being vulnerable. Memoir writing is scary. The scariest moment in the early stages was giving my husband the first draft to read. I held my breath because so many of the anecdotes I share (past boyfriends, relationships, etc.) were the first he had heard about them! The second scariest moment is right now: having a book coming out and not knowing how it will be received. ARRGHH!
My research included reading tons of personal growth and dating and relationship content. My husband and I also have a podcast called “Done Being Single,” with 100+ episodes. Our guests have included world-renown thought leaders and experts in the personal growth and relationship space, so I mined that for pearls of wisdom.
I had a total of four editors—two in the early stages, two after I began working with my publisher. Thankfully, it didn’t need a lot of work. The hardest part was working with the editors to write the end-of-chapter takeaways—tools, tips, strategies, action plans—to give the reader. It was like writing a whole other book at the end of each chapter!
Do it for you first, commit to the process, then be disciplined about both.
I’m feeling there’s another book in me, probably with more singles stories, life lessons, and dating advice.
I’m very proud of my accomplishment, proud of finishing what I set out to do, and the effort I put in. I still suffer a bit from needing external validation since I’m a first-time author, but something tells me I did a good job. Fingers crossed!
For more information, visit trevabrandonscharf.com and follow Treva on Twitter and Instagram @trevabme.
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